


The Road to Realisation

by lazydazy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, RS Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 14:36:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazydazy/pseuds/lazydazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For their own sakes, Remus had distanced himself from the Marauders after Hogwarts but fate intervenes just when he needs it most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road to Realisation

Remus’ life hadn’t been the same since they had finished Hogwarts. In fact, his life hadn’t been the same since the crushing moment during his interview to become an Auror where he was told, in no uncertain terms, that he would not be allowed a position due to his _“condition”._ The old wizard at The Ministry of Magic that spoke to him even had the cheek to do actual air quotes when saying it. He couldn’t just come outright and say _“You can’t be an Auror, Mr. Lupin, you’re a Werewolf”_ but Remus could see from the look on his face that the Ministry, through this wizard, were basically telling him that he was not good enough. The unspoken words of disdain hung in the air between them, Remus being in too much of a state of shock to respond, until the wizard interviewing him had bid him to leave.

Sighing, Remus turned off his alarm as he sat up in bed to try and convince his legs to swing around and out of the covers. They were having none of it. It was morning when they wanted it to still be night time and it was January so the weather matched his mood; cold and miserable. Pulling himself together and trying to shake off the dream of _that_ day, Remus quickly turned and rammed his feet into well-worn brown slippers and grabbed his bathrobe from the end of the bed, pulling it on as quickly as possible. Then he half shuffled (due to the state of the slippers) and half ran across the bare floor, past the kitchenette and into the small bathroom.

The morning ablutions dealt with he got dressed quickly, made himself a coffee to try and help his eyes to stay open and his body to keep warm, then grabbed the sandwich he had made the night before from the fridge. His coat and shoes were where he had left them the previous evening, placed neatly next to the front door, to the side of his reading chair. He was now running late, even though he had dallied in bed only a few extra moments, so he quickly put them on and left the small flat making sure to diligently lock and charm it to keep muggles away. A few short steps and he was at the curbside, throwing his wand arm out in a practiced manner and stepping back slightly to allow for the arrival of the Knight Bus. 

He knew how to apparate, and was usually very good at it, but had recently splinched himself by accident. It had been a very long day at work, he had been worn out and had stepped outside, turning to apparate without fully concentrating on what he was doing. It had caused him to lose a chunk of skin out of his ankle. He had been able to mend it roughly when he got through his front door, but he was no medi-wizard and there was a scar to prove that. Ever since then, he had been using the Knight Bus to get to and from work.

The Knight Bus arrived as Remus was rooting around in his satchel (making sure he’d got his sandwiches and the current book he was reading) and he got on, paid his fare and sat in the seat he was shown to. He was moving as if on automatic pilot, mainly because if he allowed himself to think about work he would struggle to make himself go there. Not turning up at work would just land him in more trouble than turning up did. 

The journey was always quick, the bus blasting from place to place in moments with the stops being the longest part as they waited for the witch or wizard to disembark. He always caught the bus early so that he could get a head start on his chores before his boss arrived. It did often mean getting to work far earlier than needed, but that always gave him an hour or two of peace and the chance to have a cup of coffee whilst he got started.

They stopped at Mourton-on-the-Marsh first for a little old witch visiting her niece. Remus was quite glad that this was the first stop as she had been talking about said niece since before he had sat down and in that short amount of time he felt that he had learnt her entire life story. It wasn’t that he disliked talking to people or anything; he was always polite when spoken to and had nodded along, umm-ing and ahh-ing in all the right places, it was just that he couldn’t help feeling jealous of this niece who had left Hogwarts and been able to follow her heart’s desire. 

He knew it was wrong of him to feel this way but he wasn’t quite able to accept his lot yet and so he was struggling to dampen down his feelings of jealousy and resentfulness. His mind wandered back to the train of thoughts he had woken up to and he spent the rest of his journey falling deeper into depression as he dwelled on the events that had happened at the beginning of the summer. 

The Marauders had ended their reign at Hogwarts on a high. There was nothing that could stop them, not even an argument with Snivellus (James just cursed him so his trunk burst open spilling everything everywhere, Sirius had taunted him as per usual and then they’d bounded off laughing to cause mayhem on route to the train). They had worked hard for the exams (well, Remus had worked hard for the exams, Peter had attempted to because otherwise he would fail them all, James had worked on and off when he wasn’t plotting pranks with Sirius and Sirius had given schoolwork a cursory glance in his own time if it was lucky). They had all wanted to become Aurors once they finished school. For James, Sirius and Peter it was mainly for the excitement, adventure and action (although for Peter it was partly doing what everyone else was). For Remus it was to be in a position to bring justice to those flaunting power and breaking the laws of the wizarding community. 

Their Newt results had arrived and they had whooped with delight at the outcomes, all except Peter who hadn’t quite managed to get marks as high as the others. He had been disappointed and his disappointment had led to gloominess as he worried about not being able to become an Auror. Remus had spent the time preceding their interviews reassuring Peter that they wouldn’t concentrate on his exam results but would look at the Professor reports on his character. They would take into account how eager he was to learn and the fact that they would learn more actively being in the role than they could at school. 

He never once thought that it would be him having to find another job.

He got off the Knightbus at Diagon Alley and trudged along the street towards The Hog and Kneazle. His place of work was a dark dingy little public house situated out towards the back end of Diagon Alley, away from Knockturn Alley so no-one ever saw anything wrong with witches or wizards heading in that direction. It wasn’t cloaked with magic, it was just out past where all the popular shops and café’s were and people seemed to be very good at ignoring its existence of their own accord.

As per usual, Remus was there before his boss had surfaced. He had been joining in with the punters as usual the night before and would probably be up late and have a sore head, which he always took out on Remus. This was the time when Remus attempted to get everything ship shape in the hopes of not being on the sharp end of his tongue or the painful end of his fist. He entered by the back door, which was the only door he had been allowed a key for, then he put his stuff on the coat rack in the back hallway and made himself another cup of coffee. Whilst waiting for it to brew he started clearing all the glasses from front of house.

His work was boring and monotonous but it stopped his brain from thinking about other things as he concentrated on what he had to do, especially when trying to do it quietly. Once all the glasses were out back, he filled the sink and started washing. It was one of his bosses quirks that he wasn’t to use magic. He wasn’t even supposed to bring his wand to work. He did, but always transfigured it so it wasn’t obvious that he had it on him. 

His boss, Vortimer Rookwood, was well aware that he was a werewolf and took great pleasure in reminding him that he was worthless and only had this job because Vortimer was decent enough to allow him to work there. He made the “No Magic” rule when he employed Remus, stating that he couldn’t risk anything bad happening, what with his wolfish tendencies and werewolves being dark creatures and all. Being desperate for work, Remus had taken to heart what he said and agreed to work without magic. 

The sound of clinking glasses as he washed them must have carried further than he thought it would, even with the kitchen door and the door to the flat above closed. He wasn’t long into his task before there was the sound of heavy treads and the clunking of a cane and then the kitchen door burst open.

“Do you think that you could be _any_ noisier?” A deadly voice demanded from the doorway.

“N..no?” stammered Remus in response, hoping it was the answer he was looking for, but knowing, deep down, that anything he said would be wrong.

It was the silence that followed that made Remus’ hackles rise. The smack to the side of the head proved him right. He didn’t rise to it. He’d learnt early on that a response to being smacked, punched or kicked only ever lead to a more severe beating.

Obviously dissatisfied with the lack of response, Remus received another clout to the head as Vortimer sneered, “You’d better keep the noise down, half-breed.”

Remus stuttered a response in the affirmative as Vortimer stomped out of the room, cane clicking and muttering to himself, not quite under his breath, about incompetent flea ridden mongrels. In the first few weeks working there, Remus would have spent hours dwelling on the insult, affronted by the thought that he was a flea ridden mongrel. Now, however, he didn’t. The frequency with which he was insulted and the amount of varying insults that Vortimer dreamt up (he seemed able to come up with new ones each day) had worn him down to the point where he believed some of what he was being told. 

Of course, he knew he wasn’t flea ridden. Even in his wolf form he didn’t usually feel the urge to scratch himself lots. But he was a mongrel. A half-breed. A stinking dog-breath, fur-ball of a dark creature that has no real right to be alive. He should really try to be more careful. Be more quiet. He removed some of the glasses from the sink leaving only one in, then continued with his task one at a time hoping that this would help lessen the noise. 

He had been working for no more than half an hour when Vortimer returned and barked obscenities at him for being so slow. He informed Remus that the pub was opening early that day for a meeting he was due to hold with some esteemed members of the wizarding community and that the front of house was not to his liking. As Remus grabbed the mop and bucket to wash the stone flags out front he received another blow to the head on his way passed his boss, causing him to drop the mop in a cacophony of noise.

“And cut all the noise!” Rookwood bellowed at him, whacking his cane across Remus’ backside as he had bent down to pick up the offending mop.

Remus tried to stop the sound that came out of his mouth at impact. It usually earned him another blow, but the cane was painful and aimed across a particularly tender part of his body so he was unable to stop crying out. His boss grabbed him by the hair, pulling his head back roughly as Remus straightened up.

“Once you have cleaned the front of house,” hissed Vortimer, “you will scrub the toilets and the kitchen and you will not show your face once my meeting attendees start arriving. Do. You. Understand. Me?”

The last was said with a jerk backwards to Remus’ head with each word. 

“Y…yes, S..sir, Mr R..r…rookwood, S..sir,” stuttered Remus. His memory of the last bad beating causing him to stammer.

He ran to the front of house to get away from Vortimer Rookwood as quickly as possible and set to cleaning the place until the grime sparkled. It was not possible to actually get the place clean, it was too old and encased in dirt. In many ways, the building took after its owner. Nasty; rotten inside.

 

****

 

By the time Remus was allowed to leave for the night, he was aching from a long day on his feet, as well as bruised and barely able to keep his eyes open. It was, therefore, a while before he heard the whistling and noticed the person standing in front of him with a ticket machine slung across his shoulder and an incredulous grin on his face.

“Remus!” the whistler exclaimed, “Well this is a turn up for the books! Diagon Alley, eh? Late night rendezvous?”

“I…I…” Remus stuttered with shock at the sight of Sirius in a conductors outfit, stood in the doorway of the Knight Bus where he really shouldn’t be.

“Come on, get on with it!” A girls voice shouted from inside the bus.

“Don’t mind her, she’s just anxious to get done for the night.” Sirius grinned and ushered Remus onto the bus and up the stairs. “We finish in a few hours. Getting you on quicker won’t speed time up, but she doesn’t seem to be able to grasp that notion!” 

Sirius shouted that last bit towards the front of the bus where a girl with shoulder length brown hair and big brown eyes was glaring good naturedly back at him. Sirius just laughed and continued ushering Remus up the stairs and into a spare seat at the front of the bus.

“Thought you’d like the view,” he said as he gestured to the window and then laughed as all that could be seen were their reflections, “where’re you going?”

All the time that Sirius had been bantering with the driver and steering him to a seat, Remus had been in full on panic mode. He hadn’t told any of his friends the truth. He had come up with the most plausible reason for him not becoming an Auror that wasn’t the real one. A reason that they would readily accept and that he could use as an excuse to distance himself from them and avoid get togethers. 

He had managed to convince himself that this was all for their own good, because he would only be detrimental to their Auror training and he wanted them all to do well. He didn’t want to be the reason why any of them were held back or, worse, denied the position. Sirius turning up as the bus conductor on the Knight Bus completely off-footed him, he was at a complete loss as to how to chat with Sirius for the bus ride home without causing his house of cards to fall down.

“Home, please,” Remus replied, unable to say anything further because he was struggling to think of a safe topic to bring up.

He mentally crossed his fingers and toes hoping that Sirius would notice nothing wrong and not think to question Remus about where he was and what he was doing. He was in luck. Grinning, Sirius took his payment, asked if he wanted a drink and bounded back downstairs with a wink in Remus’ direction after he replied in the affirmative for a cup of coffee. He thought maybe he would need the caffeine to wake his poor brain up to be able to cope with the upcoming conversation without letting anything slip.

Sirius told his co-worker the new stop that they had and made sure he was happy with the stops they had to do before it. He told Alberta that Remus was a very good friend from school and she told him to go chat with him, noticing the underlying excitement radiating through him and not wanting to turn him into the sad little puppy-like boy that she got whenever she properly yelled at him. Plus, they only had two other customers, both on the first floor of the bus and she could handle getting them to leave. She was also sure she could cope with getting someone on board if that scenario presented itself too. 

Sirius practically bounced in excitement as she spoke, then turned and grabbed two cups of coffee and bounded back up the stairs to Remus.

“Coffee break!” He practically yelled down Remus’ ear as he plonked himself next to him and passed him one of the cups.

“Thank you,” Remus responded and, curling both hands around the blessedly warm cup, he blew across the surface watching the ripples before he attempted to sip it.

“How have you been? How’s the job going? Where have you been hiding away, we haven’t seen you for ages!” exclaimed Sirius in an excited tone as he watched Remus’ face go from tired and confused to peaceful and then close up completely.

Remus closed his eyes, inwardly took a deep breath and reminded himself that the job he had told his friends he was doing was supposed to be more exciting for him than being an Auror. The only way he could keep the lie going would be to show Sirius, right now, that he _loves_ his job and couldn’t think of a better thing to keep himself busy.

“I’m great!” he replied turning to smile at Sirius, “the job is just perfect, I get to read manuscripts that haven’t seen the light of day for millennia. Today I was allowed to read a work by the great wizard Uric Whibble….” 

Remus continued “happily” rambling on about how he’d read the wizards life’s works and how he had ended up staying really late to finish it. He’d then gone to Diagon Alley to see if he could rouse the owner of one of the rarity book shops only to find no-one in or answering. Being too tired to apparate he’d called on the Knight Bus to get him home.

“…and look! It meant bumping into you! An all round great day, really.”

He forced a grin on his face and then turned back to his coffee almost luxuriating in the warm liquid gold that coursed down his throat. He couldn’t afford coffee this nice at home and Vortimer was a skinflint that refused to buy decent coffee for his staff. Remus being his only staff member and Vortimer openly hating him, it was hardly surprising really. Remus tended to count himself lucky he was allowed coffee at all.

“How are things with you?” He asked, “How come you’re here, doing this? They kick you out for insubordination already?”

Sirius laughed. “No, ‘course not! I’m behaving until I pass my probation! This is just a sideline whilst we’re training so I can afford to live by myself. The family is, of course, devastated that I’m still not following in their footsteps so I’m not welcome there and James is gearing up to ask Lily to move in with him. I didn’t want to be a third wheel so having my own place was the order of the day. When I bumped into Alberta she told me about this gig. She’s training to be a Medi-Witch and knew there was a position going and put in a good word for me.”

He winked and took a big slurp of his coffee. The sound tore at Remus’ heartstrings. He hadn’t realized how many things he had missed about his friend. Sirius then chattered on about how everything was going, with Remus egging him on. Mostly because he was actually interested to hear it, which was noticeable by how his eyes lit up as he watched Sirius’ animated chatter, but also because the more Sirius talked about his life and training, the less Remus had to talk about his.

The pair were so engrossed in their catch-up, Remus intently studying Sirius as he described one of the training sessions that he’d had arms waving wildly as he half told, half re-enacted what had happened, that they didn’t hear the call saying where they were stopping next. The sudden halt of the bus sent them both flying into the front window and sprawling onto the floor together. Remus found his head resting under Sirius’ neck; the smell was intoxicating. He also realized that he wasn’t too sure which of the four legs were his; they were all so meshed together. Sirius’ arm lay across his back and he felt his hand stroke him before Sirius laughed and untangled them, helping Remus back to his seat.

Nothing was said about Remus deeply breathing in Sirius’ scent or Sirius stroking his back. Sirius simply picked up from where he had been rudely interrupted and continued to regale his training stories to an increasingly amused Remus. No new pick-ups delayed the journey and so it wasn’t long before they arrived at his home. Remus found himself feeling acute disappointment at having to leave Sirius but put on a brave face. He didn’t want Sirius to spot that anything was wrong.

“Yoo hoo!” called Alberta, “Time to get off!”

“This is me then,” Remus said to Sirius, “I’ll catch you later sometime, would be good to get the band back together.”

Secretly he was hoping that this wouldn’t happen, it being something that he saw as being detrimental to their career path. But he thought it was the best thing to say in order to keep Sirius off the scent of truth.

“We must!” Replied Sirius buoyantly, “It’s already been far too long.”

He grabbed Remus in a hug, squeezing him tightly as though he never wanted to let him go. But let him go he did and soon Remus was on the curbside looking at the space where the Knight Bus had been.

 

****

Remus woke up to his brain happily singing “King of the Road” at him and his bed sheets were all sticky. It was a few moments before he worked out why. He’d had a wet dream. He hadn’t had one of those for ages so it was quite a surprise. More surprising was the reason behind it. All he could remember of the dream was Sirius’ and his fathomless gray eyes full of a love that Remus was sorely lacking in his current life. The song, that he was currently unable to shake from going round and round in his head, had been whistled by Sirius as he had caught the bus the night before. Seeing his old friend and ending up in a tangled heap on the floor together had obviously hit a chord in his sub-conscience. 

Reaching for his wand on his bedside table, Remus cast a scourgify to clean the sheets and then headed to the shower putting his pajama’s in the wash basket to deal with later. He showered quickly trying, and failing, to not imagine that his hands belonged to the person occupying all his thoughts. Coffee didn’t stop his mind from wandering either. It just made him think of the coffee he’d had the night before and the person he had shared it with. He was so busy daydreaming he left much later than usual and was only just at work before it was time to open.

This did not go down well with his boss. He hadn’t cleaned up the front the night before as he had planned to be in early enough to do it before opening time, but here he was walking through the door five minutes before it opened meaning he would be out front should anyone come in straight away. Vortimer hated it when Remus was visible to his punters. He wasn’t happy with this at all.

Remus was expecting the first blow to his head, but he didn’t account for the punch to his stomach at the same time. He doubled over, all his breath whooshing out his body as he tried to deal with the two areas of pain at the same time. He wasn’t given any time to. The cane came crashing down on his back making him sprawl on the floor.

“See what you are good for?” sneered Vortimer, “Nothing. You can’t even work a cleaning job like a normal wizard could. I shouldn’t have to pay for this disobedience. How dare you leave the pub in this state and not clean it up before opening?!”

All Remus could do was lie there and listen.

“Now get out there and get the place cleaned and don’t you dare make eye contact if anyone comes in whilst you’re doing it. You’re to do this at double the speed of your pathetic attempt at working yesterday. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, S..sir,” whispered Remus.

“You better!” was the dark response, “now get out there!”

Vortimer kicked Remus for good measure as he scrambled to his feet and ran, half hunched over as he expected more of a beating, into the front of house. He grabbed the glass carrier and rushed to the tables collecting as fast as he could. When he had cleared the tables he took the glasses to the kitchen and grabbed a wet cloth and ran back out to wipe the tables, keeping his head down in case anyone was in there. He could feel Rookwood’s malevolent stare from where he stood behind the bar.

“Ah, good morning Mr Avery, what tipple takes your fancy today?” Simpered Vortimer as Remus heard the door opened and close and footsteps cross to the bar.

“My usual, Rookwood,” came the curt reply, “Not like you to have scum out the front.”

Remus stiffened at that remark and then scrambled to clean the last table and retreat to the back of house where he would be out of sight and, hopefully, out of mind. Rookwood’s response was not promising. The simpering reached levels Remus had never heard before and it made him cringe just to listen to it. He was so busy trying to hear what he was saying that he didn’t pay attention to where he was going and banged into the table where he had left the glasses. 

He could only watch as the glass holder, with glasses piled high, teetered on the edge and then tipped over. The glasses cascading to the floor in a cacophony of noise. Each glass seemingly shattering in turn to allow the noise to go on and on and on. Remus felt as if he was paralyzed, watching as they broke one after the other for what seemed like hours. In reality, it happened in seconds, but to Remus the sound wouldn’t stop. It was like his life was shattering around him.

The beating came. He knew it would. Somehow, it seemed as though it was happening to someone else. It was as if he was watching it, not part of it. He floated above himself as Rookwood completely lost it and punch after punch after kick rained down on him with obscenities old as well as new. The attack was on his face, head, arms, body, legs, anywhere that could be reached and Remus saw himself curl up, legs trying to protect his stomach, head folding down and arms curling up around his chest. It wasn’t long before he couldn’t see what was going on anymore.

 

****

His eyes were stuck. He’d never had this much difficulty waking up before, even after a hard and long day at work. His bed had never been this uncomfortable either. A slow dawning realization started to spread through Remus’ brain and along with it came the pain. He managed to force one of his eyes to open a crack and, after a moment of refocusing, noted that he was on the floor in the kitchen of The Hog and Kneazle, lying in the debris of the broken glasses. The only light seemed to be coming from the dingy back window and it was flickering. After a few moments trying to focus on the light to stop it from flickering it became apparent to Remus that it wasn’t him being unable to focus, but the light moving. His befuddled brain supplied him with the image of the lamplight that was usually lit in the back alley and he realized it was nighttime.

All of this happened in the shortest of time, yet just the effort of opening one eye and trying to focus on his surroundings left him panting and having to rest his head again; even though it was on broken glass. It took a while to pluck up the effort and get his stamina up enough to try and move but he knew he couldn’t stay there all night. Merlin only knew when Rookwood would be back and he didn’t fancy his chances if he was still there when he returned.

Slowly, Remus started to uncurl himself more. His head was already free from trying to work out where he was so he rolled himself onto his back attempting to straighten his legs out. The pain was excruciating so he stopped and rolled in the same direction again, onto all fours. The broken glass on the floor cut into his hands and knees but the pain was nothing compared to that covering the rest of him and he barely noticed it. He slowly turned until he was facing the door to the back alley then moved inch by inch across the kitchen floor towards it. 

The pain was almost unbearable but he made it to the door, reached up to the work surface that ran along the wall and, with great effort, pulled himself up enough to be on his feet and able to open the door. He shoved the door open, ever grateful that it opened outwards, and stumbled outside, leaning heavily on the door to keep himself upright. Without taking his weight off the door, he followed it shut, keeping himself on the outside. Then, using the wall for support, made his way to the end of the alley.

He was having trouble keeping his head up and his one eye that would open slightly to stay open. His legs could barely move and each movement he did manage to make caused pain to rush up them like hot flames licking at his body. He was aiming for the street. The back alley didn’t fit the Knight Bus (he knew this from experience, he had tried it on the first night after his splinching episode only to discover that he couldn’t get on it. The bus could become as thin as the alleyway to get to where Remus was, but he was unable to stretch himself thin enough to get through the door). There were only a few yards between the back door and the street but it felt like miles. He was trying to struggle through the pain and the mantra going through his head was “just got to get home”.

 

****

Sirius was used to the random jolts and jarrings of the Knight Bus as it changed direction from where it was going to drop one customer off to where another had just hailed for it. He jauntily walked down the aisle swaying to the movement of the bus, swung round the pole on the handrail and sprang out the door with a jovial greeting for the new patron. His greeting froze on his lips as he saw Remus lying on the floor, his face barely recognizable but for the sandy hair flopping over his forehead.

He fell down beside him grabbing for his wand as he did so. “Remus! What’s happened to you?” 

There was no reply from Remus so Sirius racked his brain for the diagnostic spell they had been taught the other week in their Core Survival Skills training. Casting it, it showed him that Remus was alive but extensively damaged. 

“What’s the holdup Bumfluff?” called Alberta from inside the bus.

“Albs, please come here,” Sirius responded.

It was the lack of response to the new nickname and the sound of his voice that had Alberta up and out of the drivers seat in a flash and at Sirius’ side.

“Merlin’s beard! What’s happened?” she cried as she pulled out her wand and cast the diagnostic spell as though she’d been doing it all her life. 

It was a testament to Sirius’ state of mind that he neither objected (having already done it himself) nor took affront at the fact that he’d had to sit and think what it was before casting it whereas Alberta had cast it outright without seeming to think. On any other day he would have raised a jovial stink about being upstaged by anyone. Today he only had eyes for Remus.

“Help me get him on the bus, Albs,” he said as he gently lifted Remus’ head and braced his shoulders and back against his chest.

Alberta moved to the other side and cradled Remus’ legs and they awkwardly shuffled him onto the bus and onto the nearest bed. 

“We need to get him to a hospital, Sirius,” Alberta stated, pulling on her hospital training and trying to sound detached and matter of fact so that she could cut through the anguish and reach the sensible part of Sirius’ brain.

“No,” he replied, “he wouldn’t want that. Too many bad memories of hospitals. I’m taking him home.”

Alberta hovered where she was, unsure whether to argue or allow him to have his way.

“Quickly!” Sirius turned and yelled at her.

Deciding that he obviously knew his friend better than her, as well as being slightly scared by the edge in his voice and frantic look on his face, Alberta jumped and headed back to the driver’s seat. She plotted the quickest course to Sirius’ place once he yelled out where it was and they were there in two wiggles of a nifflers snout.

“Help me get him inside?” Sirius asked.

“Of course,” replied Alberta. She wasn’t about to stand by and watch. “I’ll cover the rest of your shift, you just make sure you take care of him right. Owl me if you need help, ok?”

As she spoke they carried Remus into Sirius’ one bedroom flat and laid him down on the sofa. 

“I will,” Sirius answered, “and thanks, Alberta.”

She smiled in return and patted him on the arm before leaving the flat to continue their shift. 

Sirius turned and set the fire blazing, conjured a blanket and a soft pillow that he put behind Remus’ head. He left the blanket to one side as he accio’d his vial of dittany from his emergency Auror kit and set about healing all the open wounds on Remus’ face and hands. As he healed one of his hands he moved the shirt sleeve up his arm only to find bruising and broken bones. 

“What on earth happened to you?” Sirius asked softly as he stroked Remus’ hair from his forehead.

He retrieved a bowl of hot soapy water and a sponge from the bathroom. Gently, he removed Remus’ clothes, washing away the dirt with soft circular strokes. Once he had done, he set to mending all the broken bones. He had spent many a time in the hospital wing at Hogwarts watching Madam Pomfrey heal him after vicious full moon episodes so he hoped that he would be able to repeat her spells without too much trouble. He had a good memory and although he wasn’t perfect at it, he managed to heal the breakages. He was lucky that the breaks were all clean. Sirius concentrated mainly on Remus’ hands where the fingers had all been snapped, but there was also a broken arm and a broken ankle to fix.

With all the wounds healing and breaks fixed, Remus was starting to look a bit less crippled but he was still covered in bruises. Sirius accio’d bruise salve from his kit and, starting at his feet, gently applied the salve to his entire body. Once he finished his chest he lifted Remus up and sat behind him, resting his head on his shoulder and supporting him with that arm he applied the salve to his back. Whilst doing this, Remus started to stir. 

“Mmmph byrdl grrvv,” came the muffled sounds from the man in his arms as he started to come to.

“Shhhhh,” soothed Sirius, stroking his back again. 

Remus shivered, snuggled into his chest, turning into him and getting comfortable as his mind moved from passed out to half awake to properly sleeping. Sirius smiled, kissed the top of his head, wrapped the blanket around them both and settled down to hold Remus as he slept.

 

***

 

The fire had dwindled when Sirius awoke from his unplanned nap to find Remus lying on his chest, blue-gray eyes staring at him with mingled confusion and affection. 

“Wha’s goin’ on?” yawned Remus sleepily.

Sirius swallowed visibly as his body reacted to Remus’ stretching yawn and replied, “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

At this, Remus looked quite sheepish and mumbled something into Sirius’ chest that he couldn’t hear but vibrated through him like nothing he’d ever felt before. It was too much for Sirius to cope with. His body reacted noticeably and caused Remus to gasp and look back up at him. To his delight, rather than jumping away, Remus’ eyes widened a little with shock but also flickering interest so, rather than avoiding the issue, Sirius jumped in head first like normal and closed the gap between the two of them, kissing the lips that were formed in such a perfect little “oh”.

Remus responded shyly at first but it wasn’t long before he too was lost in the feelings that had always bubbled close to the surface in each of them whenever the other was near. The bulge in Sirius’ trousers pressed against Remus’ groin and he moaned faintly, delighting Sirius as well as giving him more access to his mouth. Surprising himself, Remus grabbed for Sirius’ clothes, urging him out of them as they continued to fall deeper and deeper into their passionate embrace.

Their lovemaking was nothing that either had ever experienced before and it didn’t last very long. Remus looked embarrassed at how quickly it had all happened but Sirius just laughed it off with a rude remark about having plenty of time to practice. Then he turned to Remus looking stern and told him that they needed to talk.

“Why were you so badly beaten? What’s going on?” he asked softly, pulling Remus round into a seated position on the settee and tucking him into his side whilst stroking his arm.

Remus found himself unable to continue lying. He could have told him that he had gone out with work friends and got involved in a brawl but that was taking the lie too far. Not only that, it would hardly be believable. He sat and stared at his hands in his lap and then began his tale starting with the interview he’d had at the ministry and finishing with the broken glasses at The Hog and Kneazle. He left no detail out. He told Sirius he had to accept that he was a dark creature and that it would harm their career having him as a close friend so he had done what was best for all of them.

“And now it’s all ruined, ‘cos here I am naked on your settee and I never want to leave!” he sobbed.

Sirius had listened quietly the whole time Remus was talking, never stopping his gentle carressing of Remus’ shoulder and arm. His face showed his reactions though. He was unhappy that Remus had convinced himself it was better for him not to confide in his friends and to keep himself away from them. When Remus had got to the part where he had accepted his boss’ view of him as a dark creature that shouldn’t be allowed to carry a wand or use magic, Sirius had stiffened in his attempt to hold back his anger.

“Remus,” he said quietly.

“Yes?” Remus replied.

“You do know that’s all bollocks right?” he asked, “I mean, none of us will lose our jobs just because we know you. You don’t allow yourself to roam the countryside at full moon, you consciously make the effort to be anything but the character of the dark creature you were unlucky enough to be saddled with.”

“I… I don’t…” Remus didn’t quite know what to say to that.

“No, Remus,” Sirius said earnestly as he turned and held Remus’ face in his hands to stop him from looking away, “you don’t. You don’t have an evil bone in your body and you’re not going to jeopardize our careers.”

He stared at him for a long moment, pouring sincerity and love into his eyes to help Remus understand and know that he meant it.

Then almost as an afterthought he added, “And you are never going back to that place ever again!”

Remus smiled shyly and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry you fool, just don’t ever keep something like that to yourself again.” He sealed this comment with a kiss and Remus giggled.

Then, looking at Remus lovingly Sirius murmured, “What am I going to do with you?”

Remus grinned sheepishly and replied, “Keep me as a housemaid?”

**Author's Note:**

> Heartfelt thanks go out to my beta, Glitterfics, who turned this around so quick for me I don’t think her feet touched the ground! &heart Any mistakes you see are all mine due to tinkering!
> 
> Also many thanks to the mods and participants of the RS Games Community on Livejournal. It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience! (Participated in the 2011 Games).


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